Day 4 - Glacier Country

Jack Daniels Remaining: 750mls

Kilometers Ridden Today: 36kms

This is a fantastic part of New Zealand and I am glad we chose to spend 2 nights in Franz Josef. For this "kind of" rest day, we all found out various activities to do – even the ever-indecisive Saunders eventually sorted his day. Base camp for the two days was the Franz Josef YHA.

Shawn, Richard and Paul decided to ride to Fox Glacier and back (about 55kms round trip). I spent the morning with Alex and Sam having coffee/breakfast, and then attempted to fix my bike (I had also lost the use of my front gears the previous day). While I do know a bit about bike maintenance, sometimes it would pay if I took a moment to step back and assess the problem. I hastily removed and attempted to tighten the derailleur cable, but then discovered two things – one was the cable had become detached from the shifter (and I had no idea how to re-attach it), the second more embarrassing issue, was realising there was nothing wrong with my gears – it was in fact that my cranks were not aligned; my on the fly fix it job yesterday was not quite right. I corrected the issue (spare part thanks to Santo), but was unable to fix the cable.

I decided to head to Fox with Alex and Sam who booked a heli-hike on Fox Glacier – the bike was good enough to ride, so I loaded it up with the expectation of riding back from Fox to Franz Josef. Upon arriving at Lake Matheson (for viewing Mt Cook), I realised I had “been here, done this” before, so jumped on the bike right away, while the weather was good.

The ride from Fox to Franz Josef was awesome, with lots of challenging hills but rewarding descents. Check out the profile and the ride:

And some happy snaps...

Approaching Fox Glacier from Lake Matheson (cloud on the mountains in NZ, how different):

Decisions, decisions:

The spectacular views looking back towards Lake Matheson, while climbing:

With a couple of little deviations, I turned it into a 36km ride, including a 3km “cyclo-cross” up to Franz Josef Glacier, which gave me an appreciation of the micro-climates of the area. I got properly drenched at the Glacier, but upon returning back to the main road, I noted it was bone dry.

The crew split for dinner tonight with Richard, Shawn and Paul eating in, and the rest of us giving another restaurant – Alice May – a try. Got to say, one of the best roast pork meals I have ever had in my life! Though, on inquiring about the name, we were directed to the somewhat sombre story in the menu that it was named in honour of a local lady, who was the centre of women’s rights for a while, when she shot her boyfriend for refusing to marry her when their baby was born still-born. She became the centre of women’s rights and charges against her were dropped (remember that New Zealand was the first country in the world to afford women the right to vote). Her actions were obviously out of grief and despair as she did attempt to kill herself at the same time.

Like of the little hobbits we were, the six us re-convened for second dinner later that evening and a night cap. Apparently Richard, after riding every day (and to and from Fox Glacier), had excess energy (and no-dose) to burn. So here he is he head banging and violently flailing one hand.

(Slow shutter speed and no flash?… I don’t know what you are talking about…)

Day 3 - Well Tickle me Hocker!

Jack Daniels Remaining: 860mls

Km's covered: 50km

The journey today would take us from Arthur's Pass on an undulating ride to the West Coast and down to Hokitika. Upon rising on the 3^rd day, the weather again proved to be an unknown quantity. It was raining, it even hailed and I think sleeted a little. However, there was no wind (yet) so in my book that was good enough. I kitted up, as did Alex and the eternal freaks of nature Richard and Shawn. Paul would be Sam’s “Bang bus buddy” today and they would depart after us and play what became the daily ritual of the bang bus leaving after the riders and eventually catching them to pick up those who were done for the day. Off we set. The first 10kms or so was fairly standard mountain climbing. Enjoyable – even with the rain and hail (thanks Paul for the loaner of your spray jacket). We then came across the gradient 16% decent which was a little dicey, including an viaduct very high over the river which had head-wind, side-wind, tail-wind and up-wind. It was freakish and a little scary being blown around. We passed under tunnels reminiscent of those on the Tour de France. This was possible the one of the very few moments where my mere $1,000 cyclo-cross bike being superior to the boys $4000+ road bikes – disc brakes on a wet, windy, 16% decent are a real winner. The road eventually flattened out, and became following the meandering <xx> river. Km’s passed by pretty well, until I felt something loose under my left foot. My foot came loose from the bike – I assumed an issue with my cleat until I looked down and found the whole pedal and crank still attached to my foot but not the bike! Shit!

So I pulled over for repairs, and not a half bad spot for a mechanical issue either…

After about 20 minutes repair work (never leave home without your allen keys), I was on my way again, having taken the opportunity to refuel again I was feeling pretty good. The weather was all over the shop – sunshine one moment, rain the next, hail then next, back to sunshine…. And then… the wind. The wind REALLY picked up in the valley heading due west to the coast – and it was relentless. The van had already passed me a short while ago, and after 50km’s when I realised that I was using most of my energy just to stay upright on the bike, I decided to call the van back for a pick up. I was demoralised and my poor relationship with headwinds continued. As I pushed off again waiting for the bus to come back I kind of felt at ease with my decision when I saw the water from a pond, being blown off the pond and raining down on the surrounding ground.

Eventually I was collected and we high tailed it for Hokitika – we passed Alex (who looked spent but to his credit pushed on). We met up with the other two in Hokitika. This was to be our overnight stop, but upon noticing not much going on in town (coupled with the “who the hell are you?” looks we got at the local pub) we grabbed a quick feed and made the two hour drive to Franz Josef – I drove and spent most of the time keeping the very un-aerodynamic bang bus straight on the road. Thanks also to Sam for asking me to check out the amazing views, even though a small truck was coming in the opposite direction… ;-)

Hokitika... has the "H" factor, but not the "X" factor...

Day 2 – Like a F@rt in the wind

Jack Daniels Remaining: 950mls

Kilometers Covered: 20km

If you failed to read my previous blog on my ride from Brisbane to Sydney; you suck and it is your loss from now until the end of eternity. But seriously (well, kind of seriously, you still should have read it), I made my readers well aware of how much I DESPISE a headwind when riding. After a glorious day of arrival (still, calm and maybe 22 degrees), the first day of our ride was grey, cold and the winds of hell were blowing FROM the direction we were headed. I half heatedly kitted up and rode round to the bike shop with the boys to get Richard’s new seat clamp.

…and that was enough for me to declare I wasn’t riding. Headwinds are not enjoyable. And I am in particular a sensitive little fairy about them and refuse to ride in it. Let me <try> to give you my point of view…

I don’t mind hills. A hill is the same hill today as it was yesterday, as it will be tomorrow, as it will be in 10, or 100 years. Therefore you have a known challenge that does not change itself on any given day. A headwind just “appears” like a fart in an elevator. Something you don’t necessarily have to contend with, but just happens to be there one day to piss you off. A headwind could have been a tailwind (like the scent of a lady’s perfume in said lift that makes you weak at the knees) or it could have been no wind (like a lift as it should be – no noticeable smell).  A headwind is the bane of my already VERY fragile relationship with road cycling and something I am simply not willing to deal with.

The boys told me I chose the right day to not ride. I thanked them for their “support” (I think that's what it was). Anyway, a day spent with Sam the man in a van is not the worst thing I can think of, and it was an enjoyable drive up towards the designated meeting point (Castle Hill). A childish “doughy” in a van, 2 or 3 coffees and about 34 songs from our playlists later we caught up, one by one with the boys as they rode from bad weather, through storm, through Armageddon on their way up to castle hill. May I say good effort boys! Here is the grade of the ride for you readers to help you appreciate the feat. Yeah, it sucked...

100km’s under their belt at Castle Hill, they were not keen on the ride to Arthurs Pass, 50kms further up the road. Oddly (as we were in the mountains), the skies cleared and the wind died down and we were greeted with some spectacular scenery on the way to Arthurs Pass…. I was getting itchy feet but could not get consent from a fellow rider. With 20kms to go to Arthurs Pass we stopped for some photos. I kitted up. I rode. 20kms. Yeah not much but it was a good way to start. And then Alex captures this shot. While I don’t proclaim to like photos of myself and am probably the antithesis of vain, this is a winner. Thanks Alex.

I rolled into Arthur's Pass. The backpackers we were staying at there was a winner. Pub and food across the road, I couldn’t be happier.

I wanted to think of something witty to write about this shot in the pub at Arthur's pass, but Alex had just ridden that profile I showed earlier, the dude was shagged...

I've taken about 21 panorama photos on my iPhone. 19 of them were on this trip. Hard not to with these views...

And here was my ride for the day...

Finally, I must say. New Zealand. Tourism. You’re doing it right. Last time I visited the country I noticed the high quality of signage and general attention to helping tourists experience the country. So we are in Arthur's Pass. Population 17 people, 8 Kia’s and 4 dead possums and we found this.... 

The photo doesn’t do it justice (it more looks like a powerful camera flash). Infact it is a waterfall lite up with a massive flood light and was REALLY effective.

And shhh, if you look carefully you will see a Samwise in its natural habitat doing… Something...

On Christchurch…

If I may be serious for a moment, the evening before and this morning with Sam, we had a look around Christchurch and it was a very sobering experience. In February of 2011 (that’s nearly 5 years ago as of penning this blog) a 6.3 magnitude earthquake struck Christchurch. The city centre was out of bounds for a long time, and while cleaned up, the effects are still clearly evident – most notable of which is the Christchurch Cathedral, which seemingly still stands as a reminder of the event. The CBD is rather barren, with many gravel parking lots, which are simply the vacant spaces of demolished buildings. Further still were all the empty/derelict buildings. On our drive, Sam and I also took a drive up to the hills surrounding Christchurch. We stopped at a good viewing point, with a huge mansion behind us – on closer inspection I noticed it clearly showed the scars of the quake with cracks in the masonry patched up. 

But as usual, a Kiwi never gives up, and for the most part Christchurch is well recovering.

Yours truly in a snap from up on the hills area of Christchurch....

Day 1 – Yeah but it doesn’t have the fucking tow bar we asked for!

Jack Daniels Remaining: 1 litre.
Kilometers Covered: 0.5km (test ride)

Standard rendezvous at the airport – 5 bike boxes + a 6^th containing the bike rack, the fellowship was formed at an appropriate pre-lunchtime watering hole at Sydney airport (yeah, a coffee shop). Duty free Jack Daniels sorted. 1 litre remains….

…A note on packing ones bike in a box.

One of the most shitty annoying, frustrating, painstaking asshole of a jobs known to man – just above removing the lint from the lint collector in a dryer but just below cleaning up cockroach guts after a successful slaying. I hated it. Nuff said. Shut up.

The unfortunate highlight of the day would have to have been the discovery (or lack thereof) of a tow bar on the 12 seater van we hired (AT HALF PRICE – thank you Sam) for the trip. This is despite the fact that we asked repeated if it had one. What was more annoying was not the fact that we couldn’t use a bike rack for the trip, but we would have to somehow lug the thing round with us for the trip. And I am not talking about you standard bike rack. It was one of these MOFO’s (yes, big and annoying).

Coupled with aggravating a back injury in unloading his bike, Shawn took the news particularly badly and is the unfortunate winner of the “first to lose his shit” award.

As we would learn though, this setback would lead the 6 of us to being the masters of “Bangbus Tetris”. Packing 6 fully built bikes, 6 fully built boys with luggage, 6 bike boxes and yes one annoying… fucking… bike rack into the van was no easy feat. But we pulled it off in spectacular style and while not admitting to it, each of us carried a quiet air of contentment on the achievement.

Attempting to load 6 large boxes and boys into the van....

First night’s accommodation in Christchurch was really nice, a quaint establishment just across the part from Chirstchurch CBD… Then this happened on its lawn:

Bikes reassembled (well 99.998% assembled – Richard’s seat post clamp went AWOL), we did what 6 Aussie boys on a trip do best. We went to the bar. I reacquainted myself with what I believe is NZ’s finest beer and I am willing to say in my top 5 beers ever – Speights.

This is a photo of poppies taken at the hotel...

Poppies are nice and these help to convey to you what a fine establishment this was. It was the sort of place you would take a lady after a classy night out. Giggitty Giggitty!

After a quick beer we headed for the CBD for a meal “across the park”. Our accommodation was on the opposite side of the CBD – to get to the CBD we had to traverse Hagley Park. It was one of those instances where it looks much smaller on the map than it is in real life. To put in in perspective, we crossed a few football fields and a gold course. Once in the CBD, it took even longer to find somewhere to eat. In fact, once we found somewhere, Richard had had enough and walked back – the meal we found was ok, but certainly not worth the 45mins odd of walking to get there.

Another Adventure Dawns...

So back in 2014 I completed an epic ride from Brisbane to Sydney – and was very serious about it, covering over 100km’s nearly every day for 9 days straight. Much discipline was required for this ride, AND much training (many long boring hours on the gym trainer during the winter months prior to the ride). Alas, through lack of time (party because of work and party because of interests in other pursuits) I did not put in the training for this trip. I didn’t want to either. This was a trip where I would ride within my current fitness ability and damn it, have a good time as well. I’ve been battle weary from work this year and wanted to enjoy the trip as well. My reference to the gradual consumption of a 1 litre bottle of Jack Daniels (with a little help from my fellowship of friends) makes my approach to this trip painfully clear.

Schemed up mainly by Shawn and Richard, and 1 part each of Paul, Alex, Sam(wise) and yours truly and we had a “boys” trip to New Zealand. A focus on cycling, the trip was a tour from Christchurch to Queenstown. You had two options for travel, the self-propelled two wheeled version, or the 4 wheeled option, aboard the “bang bus” (if you are not familiar with this term I HIGHLY advise AGAINST googling it without safe search turned on). 5 of us brought bikes; Sam came for the trip and experience, simply because Sam is Sam.

...And I told you not to Google it, so don't blame me.