I did it.. so now I can blog it

My adoring fans,

Not much of a blogger am I? Ah well, deal with it.

So, a few blogs ago I alluded to a new project I had conjured up. I am sure you have all been thinking about that comment (made back on the 14th of April) and the dangling stinky rotten carrot, ravaged by the hands of old man time has kept you in a state of uncontrollable suspense ever since....

50% because I wasn't confident I'd actually finish it, and 50% because I am simply a shitty blogger I kept pretty quiet about it. I needed to fill the void of biking challenges left after completing the build of the Heckler. My second project was a ride. A long ride. A ride from Brisbane to Sydney.

For all you foreigners and geographically challenged plebs, that's around 1000km's (or about 630 miles). The storyline is pretty simple... (though in future blogs I will no doubt fabricate it).

Cycle from Brisbane GPO to Sydney GPO, unassisted, carrying on the bike all I needed. Motivation for doing it... Personal challenge.

So I spread my great idea with some of my cycling fraternity. Met mostly with interest, but with more than a twist of skepticism, I was surprised that two of my riding brethren, Shawn and Paul showed interest. Paul unfortunately has been recovering from a severely broken ankle and as time got closer, it became apparent that he would not be able to join us; which incidentally added a new level of "oh shit" to my decision top doing this. This is because he was going to drive and just ride sections with us. While my intention was to do this unassisted, the thought of not even having the option of a support vehicle threw more face slapping realism into what I had committed to.

In the following blogs I will enlighten you on the experience, the lead up, training and the adventure itself. But for now I will leave you with this, which upon committing to this challenge, sums up how I felt in the months leading up to the ride:

Until next time, my legion of fans...
Justin.

Like a pro!

This is what happens when one of your riding friends is a professional photographer and just bought some new toys,

http://vimeo.com/95826702

Oh, and yeah I know, many months since a blog. I know, I know. Slacker!

Justin.

Head Job

Yes, I did a real job on my noggin' a few weeks ago; and now that I have your attention, you may as well read this post, you know, while you are here and all ;-)

Right, so I alluded to an extended absence from the bike recently. Including the recent couple of weeks of rain (which turned the trails into a quagmire) this was to the tune of around 5 or 6 weeks.

We need to rewind time to a fateful February evening. Enter stage left a DMC Delorean (and if you don't know the significance of one of these, I pity you).

A party was raging. I had stepped into the kitchen for a break from the festivities. My pet birds cage was sitting on the bench. Odd I thought. My beautiful Rozella was not in the cage. More Odd I though. I turned to my left and looked down. Across the room, my pet bird was on the floor. Being attacked by a cat. I freaked out. I launched myself across the room, in a downward direction. THUMP.  A wave of pain circulated around my head. The room turned dark. I was in a different house. I was laying in a bed. My bed?! The pain! Why is it dark? Why am I in bed? Why does my head hurt. Why is my head wet?

....I had woken up.

....I was dreaming.

....I was sleep-walking (or sleep acting).

I am a prolific dreamer, but I am not a sleep walker/talker (or so my harem of ladies tell me). I reached up and turned on the light. Blood all over the pillow and all over the sheets. Have you ever opened up a significant wound on your head?! Freak me, the blood! I dashed out of bed and ran for the bathroom (blood stains on the carpet scrubbed up the next day). I looked in the mirror. Blood down my forehead and the left side of my head wet with blood. More shocking was a flap of skin about the side of a 5cent piece, complete with hair sticking up out of my head. Suddenly a wave of faintness hit me (originally thought to be in reaction to the blood but more likely because of how quickly I jumped out of bed after 5 hours of slumber).

I laid down on the bedroom floor, clasping a washer over the wound. I looked at the clock. 3:45am. I attempted to get up. Dizzy again. Some logic began to return. Concern for the blood and cut turned quickly to concern for loosing my hair - right on the part hairline! Options assessed. A couple of mates live round the corner. Should I call them? Flatmate is home. I needed some help on this one, so banged on her door. Asking her not to freak out, I shouted I needed some help. I returned to my room before the onset of the next wave of dizziness (which returned). She assessed. A quick an unanimous decision was made that I needed to go to emergency - right after I can walk again.

So, in my hast to save my pet bird, I had slammed my head into the <metal> handle of my bedside table.

Sydney roads suck. But I can tell you at 4am they are truly sublime. That doesn't really help 99% of us still sleeping at that time of morning. Drummoyne to RNS in 8 minutes flat.

Behold, the post repair carnage...

Now, I am not going to sit here and proclaim that this was a particularly nasty or painful injury, far from it. What I can tell you however is that the ensuing weeks were damn right annoying. The damn thing just would not heal properly and given its location on my scalp was a nuisance to manage. It also prevented me from doing a lot of my normal exercise; I could not wet my head so sweating was out and furthermore, I could not put a helmet on my head = no riding. No riding make Justin go craaaaaazy.

Furthermore, what is the first thing that you do when you get in the shower (mainly if you are a bloke) - head back and run the hands through the hair. I did this twice, which resulted in grimacing, swearing and after all was said and done 4 visits to the doctor to check on how the healing is going (it is very hard to manage an injury you can't easily inspect yourself). I only made that mistake twice, for the ensuing 4 weeks I had a note on the outside of my shower door "watch your head!"

My worst fear though was loss of hair. If you notice, it is right on the part line (where baldness starts to set in) and with the lesion was a fair chunk of hair. I can report that <thankfully> it appears most of the re-seated scalp skin took hold and it appears the possible hair loss was contained to a very small area.

So there concludes my story telling for the day. I will return you to the purpose of this blog in the next post. P0rn. Bike p0rn!

Proclaiming that 88mph IS the figure capable of creating the risk to break the space time continuum, 
Justin.

Welcome Back Westleigh!

Hey Trendsetters,

Well, today was the first day back on the mountain bike after an extended absence. It has rained for the last 2 weeks and before that, my injury kept me off the bike for 4 weeks, so a total of 6 weeks..

But, I just realised, I haven't told you what I did yet, have I? Oh well, you will have to wait a bit longer...

After 52km's on the road bike on Sunday, I backed up with a 2.5hr, 25km mountain bike ride today. Come spring, backing up will become very important for me (yet another story I haven't told you yet.. and as they say, Treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen - yes, that's YOU).

So a solo ride at Westleigh today. Track condition; A for Awesome. After weeks of rain, Easter delivered with an absolutely stunning 4 days in Sydney. It's been many weeks since I hit Westleigh and it appears those track fairies have been hard at work, bless them.

A nice little berm, to redirect riders off to the right (the old track used to go straight through this berm), which adds about 200mtrs of track:

 ...and a nice easy does it drop off before a right hook back onto the original track:

And here is an interesting specimen from the past, obviously uncovered by the fairies while track building. An old school Toohey's Draft can (now known as Toohey's New). I estimated late 80's/early 90's, and upon closer inspection of the can I can see the Olympic logo with the words, "Official Sponsor of the 1992 Olympics. Love it!

>>>end transmission, Justin<<<

Justin Who?

Well a piss-week effort with the blogging Uncle Justin... Brav<fucking>o. I'm not actually sure how I can redeem myself from the lurky depths of Internet obscurity. So much has passed under the bridge since my last post.

- Christmas 2013.
- A new year.
- Aussies reclaiming the ashes
- Something something Winter Olympics
- Russia genuinely believing their country big enough to span 8 separate time zones isn't enough so decide to land grab from the Ukraine.
- The tragic, but fascinating disappearance of a commercial plane
- The 4th season of Game of Thrones
The...

Hang on Goats. As valuable a hand as the Meme pussy. I throw down this card of redemption...

Game Of Goats

Yes I am a shitty blogger. Now shut up and read.

Well, once I reboot the memory bank and figure out what shenanigans the Heckler has been up to since the last blog, I will post it at some random point in blogs to come. But for now there are stories to tell and stories to be told. I encourage you to keep visiting this blog, for in coming posts I will inform you of my next project for 2014.... It's totally epic. But not only that, it has the capability to transform into an epic failure; you know the saying, "To bite of more than you can chew"? Oh well now let me tell YOU; I intend to bite, chew, swallow, digest and eject FAR more than I can chew. Be prepared to put on you straight face, look me in the eyes and say, "hey, nice try <loser> - I'd never have gotten anywhere near as far as you did, <cause I am not dumb enough to try that>".

But stories. I have stories. For starters, the Heckler has been dormant, locked away under the stairs for going on 5 weeks now. Oh, she is in oh so perfect working order still so new and sexy.

Sad to say the rider hasn't been though. It all started one dreamy night in March...

But to tell the story now would be to waste the opportunity to create 2 separate blog entries when I can draw it out over two now, isn't it?

Ciao!
Justin.

Poetry In Motion....

Well, the heckler is poetry in motion. So I thought to myself, what better way to celebrate this than blatantly plagiarising the lyrics of <what I think is> a well known song. A shiny new 50 cent piece to the first person to identify it. And a pineapple after for admitting to the world you know what the song is....

Ridin' like a boss
Hitting jumps like a hammer
Just a juvenille but a winner
It'll never be a quitter
Tasty like a raindrop
The Heckler's got the look

Heavenly bound
Cause heaven's got a number
When the wheels are spinning round
Sky blue is the colour
Rides like a wild dog
The Heckler's got the look

Heckler's got the look (It's got the look) Heckler's got the look (It's got the look)
What in the world can make a green-eyed guy turn blue
When everything I'll ever do I'll do for it
And I go la la la la la Hecklers got the look

Fire in it's shocks
Sexy to it's frame
It's a tiger in disguise
Banging on the head set
Shaking like a mad bull
The Heckler's got the look

Swaying on the berms
Moving like a cheetah
It's a miracle of man
Loving is a great track
Kissing it with fat tyres
The Heckler's got the look

Heckler's got the look (It's got the look) Heckler's got the look (It's got the look)
What in the world can make a green-eyed guy turn blue
When everything I'll ever do I'll do for it
And I go la la la la la Hecklers got the look!

....Look up awesome in the dictionary and there is a picture of me.
Justin.

The Maiden Voyage

Crowds of people waited in anticipation. The countdown was on. The crowd was buzzing. The week had finally arrived. Some paid a hefty price to get the best seats. Pre-event entertainment kept them from loosing their cool at the excitement of the spectacle that awaited them....

...That was the night before the maiden voyage. The Rugby League double-header, first round of finals - The Sharks v Cowboys and (my) Roosters v Manly, which I am happy to say, the Roosters were victors.

Alas, the maiden voyage of the Heckler was a somewhat more subdued affair the next day. A lazy Sunday afternoon ride at Old Man's Valley, Hornsby. Being the smart cookie I am, I was not foolish enough to commit to a morning ride - knowing post match celebrations may leave the mind and body somewhat resistant to a birds fart ride - gotta love my commitment now, don't you?

I did however remember to bring my trusty artsy-fartsy photographer, who proved yet again that an iPhone & an artsy-fartsy photo editor is all this connoisseur of mountain bike p0rnography needs.

Behold yours truly on his trusty <new> steed...

I will use only two word to describe how it rode. Fucking Awesomely.

I am so happy with the result. The Giant served me well for many years. But bless it, with age came the creaks and squeaks. The Heckler makes only the noises I expect:

- The ZZZZZZZZZZZ of that Hope Pro 2 rear hub when free wheeling (yes world, Justin is approaching).
- The Tss Tss Tss of that front RockShox Revelation Fork going about it's business.
- And the sweet sweet sound of a new set of Nobby Nic's crunching their way across the dirty and rock.

....And NOTHING else. Silence from all those new parts working harmoniously together.

What impressed me most is how well it "rolls" (I mistimed a few obstacles from seemingly arriving at them earlier than expected). It climbs FAR better than expected as well. I also felt the stability of the 15mm thru-axle up front (rather than the traditional 9mm skewer I had on the Giant).

There is very little I need to change other than possibly lowering the handle-bars by removing a spacer (note in a previous blog I purposely left length in the steerer so I can shorten if I want) as well as a few squirts of air in the rear shock.

It seems also my concerns over the width of the cranks can be put to bed. The chain apparently changes chain-rings up front without hitting the frame, nor do the cranks hit the swing arms.

I must admit to one small issue on the maiden voyage - more an ID 10 t error from its creator. New cables stretch - a lot. So much so that from the time of build to just before the first ride, the gears were already skipping. The day before I tightened the cables, but alas did not tighten the rear one enough, and well, a lap into the ride was left with no gears. 2 minute on-track fix.

For just a moment, I declare there are only 6 deadly sins. Feel envious. Desire what I have, I know it cannot be stopped.

Are you done? I now re-instate the 7th deadly sin.

Carry on. Ride on.

Justin.

Always wear protection....

Pain in the bum putting protection on. It doesn't look as good, and sometimes may not necessarily feel the same.

But we all know it is necessary to stop all those dings and scratches from messing up the frame.

WHAT DID YOU THINK I WAS TALKING ABOUT PEOPLE?!

Protection. One of the final instalments in this epic tail that is the great bike build of 2013 (yes only taken me 8 freakin' months!).

So, a nice shiny new frame, and given the damage the Giant sustained over its innings, I thought I would put on some protection to try and keep the Heckler looking half decent. Additionally, the Giant had an anodized frame, this is just a gloss colour coat - so I think will show the scratches more than the Giant.

Believe it or not, the core ingredient to this frame protection is contact. Yes, good old simple, newsagent $4.95 contact. You will forgive me for not adding this to the progressive total. Additional to the contact, I got some specific bike protection stickers for the higher traffic areas.

Of main concern in bike protection is the points on the frame that are likely to cop stones kicked up from the tyres and rub points with you legs, shoes and most importantly, the cables.

Putting on the protection was probably the longest, most tedious job with many hours spent in the garage while I carefully applied the protection, bubble free (the pile of rejects on the floor testament to this not always going to plan).

Here is a collection of photos showing how I have applied it in various places. You may need to look more closely at some as the protection is clear. Now most importantly this is all removable/replaceable.

It is fair to say that (like most things) the protection has taken away from the aesthetic look (and feel) of the bike. But knowing it comes easily after serving its purpose, I am a happy man.

Keeping "up" the good work,
Justin.

The first p0rno shoot

No airbrushing this baby....

NOTE: Photos are pre gravity dropper, so sorry again for the rather average looking seat post.

I will let the photos do the talking.

Justin.

Trouble brewing? The cranks

Greetings bike lovers and infidels,

So a potential issue with the bike is the width of the cranks compared to the width of the pivot point and "swing arm" on the Heckler. There is very little room for the chain to move between the small and large chain ring up front. It's all too hard to convey in writing so check out this photo. The point of concern is in the red box for those who are a beer short of a six pack.

A trial run proved my fear with some paint coming off just below the pivot point bolt, indicating the chain scratching on the frame.

The bottom bracket came with two spacers to push the cranks out further from the frame. I thought about putting both on the chain ring side, however, I have a similar issue on the other side where the back of the crank "may" hit the swing arm (I anticipate their being some sideways flex in the swing arm.

So, a spacer each side:

Additionally, to at least try and protect the swing arm's, I have put on chain protectors on each size (fabric/velco black wrap in the above photos).

 

I'll keep you posted on how it goes. I think after my handy work it will be ok - it had better be. I can't really widen the cranks anymore, which may mean, gulp, new wider cranks.

 

Justin.

Empty Boxes & a DOH! Moment

So it seems I am well and truly on the final stretch. All my boxes are empty. Which means all the contents are on the bike. Yahooooo!

But before I get too much ahead of myself, and you. Much to the disappointment of some of my riding brethren, it is not quite yet ready to Heckle the trails of Sydney and beyond. I need to do the following still:

• File down the steerer
• Tune the gears
• Affix cable caps to stop fraying
• Apply protection
• Relocate the Gravity Dropper from the Giant to the Heckler
• Shorten Cables (not necessary pre-ride)
• Final once over and tightening

So, the steerer. A fairly straight forward job. Upon consultation with a few mates, not 100% necessary, but I thought I would do it anyway, and I am sure what I am about to tell you is punishment for making that decision.

I removed the headset, took out the fork and filed down. Remember in a previous post I mentioned the cut I did was not completely straight. Being careful not to get the iron filings in all the workings of the bike, about 10minutes of filing did the job. Fork back on, headset on, tighten,

tighten,

tighten,

SNAP!

Dohhhhh! I applied too much pressure to the headset bolt - meant more for bringing the headset together before tightening the stem - I pushed my luck and snapped it. I thought I would need a new head doctor. However, I managed to get the head doctor out of the steerer and remove the broken bit of bolt.

Would you believe that in what I consider not a particularly complete supply of spare bits and pieces I found a bolt, with the correct thread size as a replacement. Being VERY careful not to snap this one I screwed it back together.

 

Time cost of this little mishap was around ~45mins, but I was just super glad I didn't need to go an order a new head doctor.

 

Justin.